Things Unplanned

Waiting for Spring darwin Bell via Compfight

I am thankful. Today I am thankful for the things unplanned.

I am a planner.
A decision maker.
A control freak.

The problem with being a control freak is that I forget I’m not the one in control.
I want to orchestrate my own life.

I hear the voice of the One who knows me whisper, “Trust.”
And I answer, “I do trust (that I know what’s really right for me, cough-cough).”
“Trust Me.” He says.
But I’m too busy planning to really listen.

Until the things unplanned happen.
Then I stare helplessly at the sky and wonder, “What is He thinking!?!”
“What happened. This isn’t what I had planned.”

I confess, my plan was that I would have three children.
Two girls 22 months apart and a boy 3 years later.
That was it. That was my plan.
I heard God’s whisper.
I heard Him say He had a plan for me.
But I ignored it. I refused it. I knew what was best for me.

Then, as spring turned into summer, God made me aware of a child in need of a mother.
A little boy I knew. A little boy I cared about.
And as God called me to motherhood again I accepted His plan.
I trusted Him, and by faith I moved.
It wasn’t my plan, but I could see it was a better plan.

I confess, my plan was that I would have four children.
Two girls 22 months apart and two boys 20 months apart 3 years later.
That was it. That was my plan.
I heard God’s whisper.
I heard Him say He had a plan for me.
But I ignored it. I refused it. I knew what was best for me.

Then, with fall on the horizon, God moved our little boy into our home.
I made it through the first week. The changes. The growing.
I adapted to being the mother of four children.
I could feel that this was right.
Our home became a perfect balance.
Mom, Dad, 2 girls, 2 boys.
Balanced perfection.

For one whole blessed week.

And then the most unplanned thing that has ever happened to me happened.
All I could do was stand stunned and stare at the positive pregnancy test.
I shook. I laughed. I cried. I shook my head in disbelief.

“How did this happen?”
“What was He thinking?”
“What woman in her right mind has 5 children!?!”

I confess, I still haven’t quite wrapped my head around the idea of mothering 5 children.
I’m still not sure I understand or agree that this is the best plan.
But I’m learning through the things unplanned.
I’m learning to trust in His truth.
I’m developing faith in His way.
I’m growing a child, but also a heart for what matters most to Him.

And so, despite my fear of the things unplanned, I’m thankful for them.
For it is only by these things unplanned that I’m reminded of The One who leads me.
The One who wants the best for me. The One who truly loves me.
And I am so thankful.

    
Life In Bloom  Found the Marbles

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Comments

    • says

      It was interested as I visited different blogs at the link ups this week, several people had posts along the same line. It’s good to know God always expects the unexpected things we didn’t plan for.

  1. says

    What an amazing and beautiful post! Other than the circumstances, this could have been written for me. I’ve got that whole control-freak thing goin’ on, too. So often I find myself gazing heavenward and wondering if He’s really aware of what’s going on, but every time, when I look back, I see He knew so much better than I did. Blessings to you on your beautifully chaotic and unplanned future!! ;)

  2. says

    OMG!! Jennifer!! what a beautiful post! and an even more beautiful PLAN! God is so good and his plan is always best! the first part of this post really spoke to me… i have really been struggling with the concept of trust lately… perfect timing. thank you for sharing!! …and CONGRATULATIONS!!
    Black Tag Diaries recently posted..thankful thursday {link up}My Profile

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